Lesson Number One

Lesson Number One
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A crow was sitting on a tree, doing nothing all day. A small rabbit
noticed the crow, and asked, "Can I sit like you and do nothing all day
long?"

The crow answered, "Sure, why not."

So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the crow, and rested.
All of a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it.

Moral Of The Story:
To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very high up.


Lesson Number Two
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A turkey was chatting with a bull. "I would love to be able to get to
the top of that tree," sighed the turkey, "but I haven't got the
energy."

"Well, why don't you nibble on some of my droppings?" replied the bull.
"They're packed with nutrients."

The turkey pecked at a lump of dung and found that it actually gave him
enough strength to reach the first branch of the tree. The next day,
after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch. Finally, after
a fortnight, there he was proudly perched at the top of the tree.

Soon, though, the turkey was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot the
turkey out of the tree.

Moral Of The Story:
Bullshit might get you to the top, but it won't keep you there.


Lesson Number Three
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When the body was first created, all the parts wanted to be Boss. The
brain said, "I should be Boss because I control all of the body's
responses and functions."

The feet said, "We should be Boss since we carry the brain about and get
him to where he wants to go."

The hands said, "We should be the Boss because we do all the work and
earn all the money."

Finally, the asshole spoke up. All the parts laughed at the idea of the
asshole being the Boss. So, the asshole went on strike, blocked itself
up and refused to work. Within a short time, the eyes became crossed, the
hands clenched, the feet twitched, the heart and lungs began to panic, and
the brain fevered. Eventually, they all decided that the asshole should be
the

Boss, so the motion was passed. All the other parts did all the work
while the Boss just sat and passed out the shit!

Moral Of The Story:
You don't need brains to be a Boss -- any asshole will do.