All I can do

All I can do

An old man lived alone in Minnesota. He wanted to spade his potato garden, but it was very hard work. His only son, who would have helped him, was in prison. The old man wrote a letter to his son and mentioned his situation:

Dear Son,
I am feeling pretty bad because it looks like I won't be able to plant my potato garden this year. I hate to miss doing the garden, because your mother always loved planting time. I'm just getting too old to be digging up a garden plot. If you were here, all my troubles would be over. I know you would dig the plot for me, if you weren't in prison.
Love,
Dad

Shortly, the old man received this telegram:

For Heaven's sake, Dad, don't dig up the garden!! That's where I buried the GUNS!!

At 4a.m the next morning, a dozen police officers showed up and dug up the entire garden without finding any guns. Confused, the old man wrote another note to his son telling him what happened, and asked him what to do next.

His son's reply was: "Go ahead and plant your potatoes, Dad. It's the best I could do for you from here."

Did you know...

Did you know...

Peanuts are one of the ingredients of dynamite.

A goldfish has a memory span of three seconds.

A shark is the only fish that can blink with both eyes.

Almonds are a member of the peach family.

An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain.

Camel's milk does not curdle.

Rubber bands last longer when refrigerated.

"Dreamt" is the only English word that ends in the letters "mt."

In England, the Speaker of the House is not allowed to speak.

In most advertisements, including newspapers, the time   displayed on
a watch is 10:10.

It's impossible to sneeze with your eyes open. (DON'T try this  @
home!)

Los Angeles's full name is "El Pueblo de Nuestra Senora la Reina de
Los Angeles de Porciuncula"--and can be abbreviated to 3.63% of its
size: "L.A."

No word in the English language rhymes with month, orange, silver or
purple.

Non-dairy creamer is flammable.

On an American one-dollar bill, there is an owl in the upper
left-hand  corner of the "1" encased in the "shield" and a  spider
hidden in the front upper right-hand corner.

Pamela Anderson Lee is Canada's Centennial Baby, being   the first
baby born on the centennial anniversary of Canada's independence.

"Stewardesses" is the longest word that is typed with only the left
hand.

Texas is also the only state that is allowed to fly its state flag at
the same height as the U.S. flag.

The "save" icon on Microsoft Word shows a floppy disk, with   the
shutter on backwards.

The average person falls asleep in seven minutes.

The average person's left hand does 56% of the typing.

The Main Library at Indiana University sinks over an inch  every year
because when it was built, engineers failed to  take into account the
weight of all the books that would  occupy the building.

The microwave was invented after a researcher walked by   a radar
tube and a chocolate bar melted in his pocket.

The national anthem of Greece has 158 verses. No one in Greece has
memorized all 158 verses.

The only 15 letter word that can be spelled without repeating a
letter is uncopyrightable.

The only nation who's name begins with an "A", but doesn't  end in an
"A" is Afghanistan.

The reason firehouses have circular stairways is from the  days of
yore when the engines were pulled by horses. The  horses were
stabled on the ground floor and figured out  how to walk up
straight staircases.

The word "Checkmate" in chess comes from the Persian phrase "Shah
Mat," which means "the king is dead".

There are more chickens than people in the world.

There are only four words in the English language which end   in
"-dous":
tremendous, horrendous, stupendous, and hazardous.

Two-thirds of the world's eggplant is grown in New Jersey.

When the University of Nebraska Cornhuskers play football  at home,
the stadium becomes the state's third largest city.

Winston Churchill was born in a ladies' room during a dance.

The Wisdom of the Road

             ~~~  The Wisdom of the Road ~~~


* Just because I'm wandering, doesn't mean I'm lost.
* Never drive faster than your guardian angel can fly!     
* Forget World Peace - Visualize Using Your Turn Signal!
* If you can't read this, you're illiterate.
* We're spending our childrens' inheritance.
* It's lonely at the top, but you eat better.
* IRS: We've got what it takes to take what you have got.
* Born Free... Taxed to Death.
* Pride is what we have.  Vanity is what others have.
* Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else.
* Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math.
* Warning: Dates in Calendar are closer than they appear.
* Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?
* No Radio - Already Stolen
* My son is an honor student at the state correctional facility.
* As long as there are tests, there will be prayer in public schools.
* I didn't fight my way to the top of the food chain to be a vegetarian.
* SAVE A TREE:  Eat a beaver.
* According to my calculations the problem doesn't exist.
* We have enough youth, how about a fountain of Smart?
* WARNING!  Driver only carries $20 of ammunition.
* It IS as bad as you think, and they ARE out to get you.
* Auntie Em,  Hate you, hate Kansas, taking the dog.  - Dorothy.
* Forget the Joneses, I keep us up with the Simpsons.
* Reality?  Is that where the pizza delivery guy comes from?
* Friends help you move.  Real friends help you move bodies.
* How can I miss you if you won't go away?
* A man with worms is never alone.
* If you cannot convince them, confuse them.
* Love isn't love until you give it away.
* Keep that sense of humor; it's critical.
* Imagination is the foundation of reality.
* When all else fails, lower your standards.
* Don't take my signals literally.
* Life is a terminal disease!
* It's been Monday all week.
* Why be normal?

Lesson Number One

Lesson Number One
-----------------
A crow was sitting on a tree, doing nothing all day. A small rabbit
noticed the crow, and asked, "Can I sit like you and do nothing all day
long?"

The crow answered, "Sure, why not."

So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the crow, and rested.
All of a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it.

Moral Of The Story:
To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very high up.


Lesson Number Two
-----------------
A turkey was chatting with a bull. "I would love to be able to get to
the top of that tree," sighed the turkey, "but I haven't got the
energy."

"Well, why don't you nibble on some of my droppings?" replied the bull.
"They're packed with nutrients."

The turkey pecked at a lump of dung and found that it actually gave him
enough strength to reach the first branch of the tree. The next day,
after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch. Finally, after
a fortnight, there he was proudly perched at the top of the tree.

Soon, though, the turkey was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot the
turkey out of the tree.

Moral Of The Story:
Bullshit might get you to the top, but it won't keep you there.


Lesson Number Three
-------------------
When the body was first created, all the parts wanted to be Boss. The
brain said, "I should be Boss because I control all of the body's
responses and functions."

The feet said, "We should be Boss since we carry the brain about and get
him to where he wants to go."

The hands said, "We should be the Boss because we do all the work and
earn all the money."

Finally, the asshole spoke up. All the parts laughed at the idea of the
asshole being the Boss. So, the asshole went on strike, blocked itself
up and refused to work. Within a short time, the eyes became crossed, the
hands clenched, the feet twitched, the heart and lungs began to panic, and
the brain fevered. Eventually, they all decided that the asshole should be
the

Boss, so the motion was passed. All the other parts did all the work
while the Boss just sat and passed out the shit!

Moral Of The Story:
You don't need brains to be a Boss -- any asshole will do.

"Live a good life, and in the end, it's not the years in the life. It's the life in the years." -- Abraham Lincoln

http://www.mattkruse.com/
http://www.javascripttoolbox.com/

Check out this cool stuff I found...

9/18/2006: Google Homepage Gadget
I used Google's custom homepage and have been playing with creating gadgets to put on the page. This gadget allows you to customize the display of the page to make it more usable. Enjoy!
Customize Page Display Google Gadget

6/28/2006: Another Fun Flash Game
This one is especially brilliant, in my opinion. Watch out for levels 16, 17, 20, and 23!
3D Logic by Alex Matveev - Fun Games from thatvideogamesite.com

6/21/2006: Challenging Flash Game
This is a pretty fun flash game - 22 levels total. Levels 12 and 17 are particularly tricky!
RoadBlocks

1/1/2006: My Son Kevin
After several heart surgeries and many long weeks in the hospital, my newborn son Kevin is finally home. See pictures and read his long story here.
Kevin Matthew Kruse